THE BOOK PROJECT: MORE INFO
MOTHER PROJECT F.A.Q’s
Q. Is it the full collection of columns? Because I don’t want to pay for a subscription to The Times
A. I get it, the paywall. The Mother Project book is not the column compendium. It’s a very different kind of story telling, it goes back much further, the prequel if you will. Plus there are things I’ve never told anyone before. Who wants to read something you’ve already read? (Unless you haven’t of course in which case the other good news; you can access the back issues here, *whispers* for free)
DISCLAIMER: The subscription is actually very good value if you’re into reading the other news
Q. What’s with the green tape?
A. The neon green gaffer tape that saves this poor beautiful rose from being cut off at the stem? The one that supports it, holding it up against the wall so it can approximate the flourishing flower it was always supposed to be? Taping over the cracks you might say. Holding it all together. That one? I just had it lying around at home so I grabbed it for the cover shoot.
Q. Will there be an audio book so I can listen while I walk to absolutely nowhere every day?
A. Yes, read by me. I’ll keep you company while you walk. Which one of us is bringing the plastic cups for the park rosé?
Q. How do you know you’re infertile?
A. Coincidentally Q-er, that’s the exact title of the first chapter. You want the answer? You know what to do...
HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN STITCHED ROSE BOOK COVER
1.
BUY LAST REMAINING WHITE ROSE AT LOCAL FLORIST
You now have one shot at this, do not f*ck it up.
2.
THINK OF ALL-ENCOMPASSING PHRASE, STITCH ONTO ROSE LEAF
.
TIP: Stick masking tape to back of leaf otherwise leaf will tear and you will trawl SE London to find another out-of-season white rose
3.
ENLIST BRILLIANT PHOTOGRAPHER FRIEND
It helps if he can organise for bright sunshine in mid-December so you get the good light. Also the winning lottery numbers while he’s at it.
4.
EXPERIMENT WITH SURFACES + PROP STYLING OPTIONS
Quickly realise the aesthetic importance of green tape (see above) even though it refuses to stick to outside walls. Who knew? Raid kids craft drawer for grey cardboard instead.
5.
GET PHOTOGRAPHERS ASSISTANT TO DISPOSE OF SET + PROPS
Then take her home and read her a bedtime story, she’s cute.